wow..I'm not gettin' off to a very good start here...
actually I had started a post yesterday morning and life jumped in and distracted me..then..as I usually do while I buzz around bangin' out my daily chores..I had the tv on...bein' Tuesday naturally I checked netflix for new releases...it was a cold dreary october morning and as you all know...I ♥ horror movies..what better sort of day for a good scream, right?
so I clicked right into what's new in horror...let me just clarify..when I say I ♥ horror movies...I mean zombies, vampires, ghosts...or things like Friday the 13th, Halloween, a Nightmare on Elm Street...ya know..shit that ain't real!!
so I don't know how it happened but somehow I landed on a movie that left me feeling so..ICKY that it just kinda threw me off
did you ever see something so disturbing that it left you wanting to just dive head first into a pool full of sunshine and rainbows and float there forever forgetting about what a horrible, ugly place the world can be??
that is what this movie did...there was a scene in it that actually left me with the shakes!!
I don't know if it was the mood I was in..if the movie was just made well or what...I usually I consider myself pretty desensitized (to movies anyway) ...but this one touched a nerve
actually I wrote a whole post about it yesterday but then decided against posting it because I didn't want to look back at this and be reminded of that icky feeling...plus I don't want this blog to be about yucky stuff or things that make us uncomfortable...
but on second thought...it occurred to me that sometimes we have to talk about the ugly things...because some things are just TOO important to ignore..and this movie had an important message that I actually am kinda passionate about...which is basically that children need to FEEL loved...they need to know how valued they are...so that they don't feel the need to seek attention and false love from people who will use them...especially in today's world..the internet is a SCARY place!!
I'm being intentionally vague about this movie (title, details etc.) because I don't want keywords attracting the wrong sort of attention...but if you're curious as to what the heck I'm talking about...click HERE
I don't want to live in a world where movies like this are considered entertainment...but we DO..and that makes it all the more scary!! if you are actually entertained by this subject matter than I suggest you seek immediate psychological counseling!!
that being said...I do believe this sort of movie does have a purpose..as an educational tool - kinda like the old after school specials...as much as we want to shelter them..kids need to know that these things DO happen...they happen every single minute of every single day!! ...and WE need to be reminded..that even though life is hectic and we have things to do and bills to pay...that the children in our lives are counting on US to nurture them and their self worth...to assure them that they are LOVED and are WORTHY of REAL love and RESPECT from themselves and from others...
there is NOTHING more important!!
I read the top review on IMDB and the writer said the film-maker deliberately wanted to make this a warning for us all, especially parents of pre-teens/teens. I have often urged parents not to allow their young teens to have a personal computer in their rooms; we had a central computer when our kids were growing up and I cannot imagine not doing it that way. I even stood behind Dana and her friends as they first went onto a chat room, etc., on our own home computer. I deliberately said things like, "Oh, that person is probably a 50 year old basement dweller in his mom's house who has never married, haha!" things like that.
ReplyDeleteJust like when the kids were little and we'd see commercials, I'd never fail to point out that they were advertisers who wanted our money. Yes, I believe in inserting a healthy dose of cynicism in older children/teens. Absolutely!
And you're right about the kids who don't feel loved being more vulnerable. So sad. :(
As for wishing I'd never seen something, the original European version of The Vanishing creeped me out for years, still does. I always said I wish I hadn't watch it. Unlike the American version, the ending is shocking and horrifying. Which was the point of the movie, of course.
But more than that, I recently bought and read A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard, the young girl who was abducted and had to grow up and bear two children by her abductor.
I am glad I bought the book because I wanted to give her some support and I am glad she was so brutally honest but reading the book made me sick at heart. I threw it away when I finished; I don't want anyone to read it who doesn't have to.
The juxtaposition between the sweet innocent nature of the little girl she once was and the sick, evil perverted things that man did to her was very hard to read about. I am always curious about what people go through, I like to understand, I like to learn but it was just too much for me. I am so very glad she got away, so very very glad. So sad... :(
I had trouble getting it out of my head too, but eventually I did. I'm sure you will too. Although if you're like me, it will take time.
The whole concept of the movie is disturbing to me as a parent. But as both you and A pointed out it is a message that needs to be out there.
ReplyDeleteI struggle sometimes with how much to make my kids aware of without taking away their innocence...that fleeting aspect of childhood that once gone, never returns.
I am a big advocate of not rushing our kids to grow up. Childhood is over so quickly. But, with all the crazy, scary stuff that goes on out there...we do have to try to find that balance between knowledge and innocence. It sure ain't easy.
Adrienne ~ this one scene was just really...EFFECTIVE!! but you're right I will get it out of my head...I've seen and read a few things that have bothered me like this...THIS...and THIS in particular...both true stories that are just too horrific to comprehend!! ...as is the Jaycee Dugard case (strange how all 3 took place in CA..I'd get the heck outta there if I were you!! haa) ...I didn't realize Jaycee Dugard wrote a book..I'll have to check it out..I'm with you..I'll buy it to support her..I'll read it because she deserves to have her story heard...I'll feel sick to my stomach and hate the world) and then I'll dive head first into a pool full of sunshine & rainbows for a while
ReplyDeletewhat happened to Jaycee Dugard is disturbing on so many levels...I mean where the fuck were the people in charge of making sure he wasn't violating his parole??? why was he even free to begin with?? ...how did NOBODY notice anything going on over there??! ...if my neighbor had that shit goin' on in their back yard..I think I'd notice!!
anyway...as for kids not feeling loved...I don't think it's just that..I think the world has just gotten so out of control..it's not just that the kids don't feel loved..there's just no CONNECTION anymore..even when families are spending time with eachother they aren't really present in the moment...parents are texting their kids from opposite sides of the room
ugh...you know me..I could go on and on about this subject!!
Mimi ~ when I was younger the thought of raising kids in such a crazy world really bothered me..and the world has gotten crazier than I could have even imagined...we never did get around to having kids (still not 100% sure how I feel about that...until I hear a baby crying or a little one whining! haaa) - I don't envy anyone who has to try to figure out how to raise kids in this day and age...I'm with you..I think kids should be kids as long as possible - when I was growing up I clung to childhood!! I tried to hide the fact that I knew there was no santa until it was just ridiculous..and I'm pretty sure I still haven't told my mother I got my period hahaha
I still cling to childhood actually..for the most part I'm just a kid in a grown up body...but then again my childhood wasn't exactly what it should have been
the fact that you even think about preserving their innocence means something...it's more than most people seem to do these days!!
I really agree with you. I think a lot of the problems people today, kids, teens, adults, seniors, all come from a lack of self worth and love for ones self. And this isn't their fault, this is something that wasn't instilled in them growing up.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I know, I grew up with more issues than people magazine. It took a lot of work to get to where I am today. I'm still not perfect, it's not always blue skies, BUT, I know who I am, I know my value and worth, and I love and respect myself. Can't say the same for the first 25years of my life.....
Even my friend, people I don't know that I just see in passing, I see a constant void of self love and self respect. And that spills over into lack of respect for others, which of course spills into about every bad thing on the planet right now! I could go on and on, but I'll stop myself....
Great post Brandi!
Jessica ~ it may not have been instilled in them as they grew up (it sure as hell wasn't instilled in me and I struggle with it every day!!) ...but at some point you have to take responsibility for your own life
ReplyDeleteI never really thought about it before but if you are angry or whatever about the fact that you didn't have these things instilled in you..I guess that's a plus in an odd way..I mean at least that means you feel worthy of it
but yeah...I hate to think what kinda trouble we might have been in if we had the internet when we were kids..not so much me cause I was (and still am) skeptical of everyone! ...I'd like to THINK I wouldn't have been easily taken in by one of these sickos..but ya never know!
kids/teenagers are nowhere near a point where they can look at their lives and say...I'M RESPONSIBLE for my own happiness..they can't see past the whole 'living under someone else's rules' stage of life...that's why they're such easy targets..if someone comes along and validates their feelings they're likely to be blind to the warning signs...plus they just want so badly to be independent they get themselves into stupid situations
~sigh...I miss bein' a kid but not all that yuck that goes with it and definitely not considering the world we live in today!!